You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters
of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all
four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights
of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Islands
company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights
to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says
the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you
with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
buys your bull.
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the
milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size
of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create
clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.
You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat
once a month, and milk themselves.
You have two cows. Both are mad.
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You
count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and
learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for
You have two cows. You worship them.
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full
employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported
AN ISRAELI CORPORATION:
So, there are these two Jewish cows, right? They open a milk factory,
an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send their
calves to Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people?
You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute...
A cow gives you some milk, and you both do what you want to do for the
rest of the day.